How Girls and Women Forge Lasting Relationships
February 28, 2011
"Best friends forever," or "BFF," a phrase said often by many a young girl, may prove, as she grows into a woman and responsibilities leave less time for friends, easier said than done. Gleaning from their own experiences with friends, families, and responsibilities, and supported by hundreds of interviews, Degges-White and Borzumato-Gainey attempt to make sense of female relationships, from why we need them to how to make them. Highlighting the murky differences between female and male friendships, this work is clearly written by women for women. The book tracks and analyzes female friendships from early childhood to late life, tackling milestones like coupling, marriage, and childbirth. Parallel features of female friendships arise at every age, from the obvious (forming friendships based on common interest) to more crucial elements of trust, honesty, and reciprocity. Relatable tales and easy-to-implement recommendations will equip female readers with the confidence to form new, lasting friendships and the language with which to discuss their current ones. In the end, making friends for women of any age, at any stage in life, will seem less daunting and more inviting than ever.
February 15, 2011
Women building and maintaining lasting friendships is a strategy for survival, the authors posit, anchoring their argument in the basics of biology. Namely the fact that womens brains are more friendship-ready with superior in-utero development of what neuroscientists dub the social brain, which controls communication, nurturing, and understanding of social nuances. Girls enter the world better able to observe and remember emotional details and comprehend nonverbal communication since female biology clearly developed to encourage and support strong alliances as a safety net. Throughout the friendship chronology from early childhoods first friends through midlifes reconnection with ourselves and others companionship and the communities formed by older adults, new friendships are always in the offing, thanks to the female biological tendency toward an unfailing authenticity, candid self-awareness, and the ability to focus on the needs and interests of others over ourselves. Degges-White and Borzumato-Gaineys authorial collaboration has produced a resource as valuable, perhaps, as a friend.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2011, American Library Association.)