Boys Speak out about Drugs, Sex, Violence, Bullying, Sports, School, Parents, and so much more
Starred review from May 29, 2000
Drawing on interviews with young men across the country, Harvard clinical psychologist Pollack presents a candid, troubling and occasionally humorous snapshot of contemporary American boyhood in this follow-up and companion to his bestselling Real Boys. Contextualizing young men's comments on their loneliness, depression, fear, anger and frustration, as well as their hopes and joys, within his broader research, Pollack illustrates what he views as the straitjacket of the "Boy Code." This false machismo is perpetuated, he says, by our country's "oppressive boyhood culture," a plague of homophobia and what he calls the "major national crisis" of suicide (which has tripled since 1970 for adolescent boys ages 15-19). Thematic chapters cover such topics as friendship, sex, spirituality and renewal, parents, divorce, sports, violence and more. In one of the most deeply disturbing and moving chapters, Pollack talks to boys in Littleton, Colo., many of them survivors of the Columbine High School massacre. Yet his message is hopeful: the conditions are right, he believes, "to give America's boys complete emotional freedom, to offer them the deep human understanding they desire and so richly deserve." To this end, he outlines a 15-step program for mentoring boys and redefining boyhood, from creating safe, "shame-free" havens where they can open up to those who care about them, to bully-proofing neighborhoods and schools and encouraging creative expression and spiritual connections. Practical and forceful, this is an important contribution to the growing body of commentary on helping boys navigate the rocky road to manhood. Agent, Lane Zachary; 13-city tour.
February 1, 2000
In Real Boys, Pollack, codirector of the Center for Men at McLean Hospital/ Harvard Medical School, explained how to break the "boy code." Here, he lets boys voice their anger and confusion.
Copyright 2000 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.
October 1, 2000
YA-Being a boy in America today means navigating a bumpy and treacherous road. Stifling societal rules that force young males to hide their feelings, affections, and, above all, vulnerabilities, causes them to suffer anxieties and fear, sometimes with tragic results. Pollack talked to youngsters nationwide and drew upon those interviews to present glimpses of their daily lives in this follow-up to his Real Boys (Random, 1998). In one particularly poignant chapter, Pollack interviews students who survived the violence at Columbine High School in Colorado in April, 1999. Most of them are very aware and disapproving of the peer culture that alienated the two killers. The book is arranged in five parts, including "The secret emotional life of boys," "The cycle of rage and violence," and "Boys reaching out and connecting." The interviews reveal articulate young men who want to be heard. Some interviews are heartbreaking, some have humor, and many are hopeful. Practical ideas on how to "break" the Boy Code appear throughout. Empowerment, education about homophobia, and bully-proofing neighborhoods are part of the program. This insightful and powerful work should be required reading for anyone who works with or lives with boys. As for young males, reading Real Boys' Voices, with its wisdom and observations, would help them discover that they are not alone on their difficult journey to adulthood.-Susanne Bardelson, Arvada Public Library, Jefferson County, CO
Copyright 2000 School Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.
May 15, 2000
Pollack follows up on his popular "Real Boys" (1998) by letting the subjects of that book speak for themselves about the pressures and problems of modern male adolescence. In Pollack's nationwide survey, he talked with 11-to-20-year-old boys of all races and economic backgrounds about sex, drugs, parents, religion, violence, emotions, and changes in the social expectations of boys and men. Here he presents the boys not only through his interviews but also through their poems, essays, and journals. Interspersed with the boys' accounts are Pollack's assessments and advice on such specifics as overcoming bullying and dealing with depression--matters of discriminating between bad boys and sad boys. He notes society's severe ambivalence about encouraging boys to express feelings, which results in boys' emotions often going undetected and being ignored. He notes the need to get behind the "mask of masculinity" and give boys the time and space to express emotions, to listen to them when they do, and to encourage their openness. Pollack found that many of his subjects longed to communicate their feelings but felt restrained by a culture that discouraged emotional displays by boys, thereby adding to the pressure on boys today. Pollack also heard from his subjects that they often feel alone and disconnected. Such despair and alienation distinguish the increased violence among young American boys. If the boys poignantly describe pressure and depression, sadness and loneliness, feeling suspected of being gay and feeling sexually uncertain, and receiving mixed messages from society, they also express relief that perceptions of men and boys are changing. An important, comprehensive report "from the trenches" on the emotional state of American boys. ((Reviewed May 15, 2000))(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2000, American Library Association.)
June 15, 2000
Clinical psychologist, codirector of the Center for Men at Harvard Medical School, and author of the best-selling Real Boys, Pollack delivers what is sure to be another best seller. He identifies and then breaks through what he calls the "boy code" to bring us the often poignant and always illuminating angst voiced by boys from coast to coast, as young as ten and as old as 20, from all ethnic origins and economic status. For a parent wanting to know why Johnny might be moody, to teachers wondering what they are up against, to a grandparent questioning what kids are like today and why, this is essential reading. Young men let down their guard with Pollack and talk about their emotional lives and how trapped they feel in the boy code, where they struggle with sexuality, the pressure of being male, and trying to fit in. Of particular interest in view of recent acts of violence is the section entitled "The Cycle of Rage and Violence." This is an excellent book full of insight. Heartily recommended for all types of libraries. [Previewed in Prepub Alert, LJ 2/1/00.]--Sandra Isaacson, Las Vegas
Copyright 2000 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.