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The Fat Man

A Tale of North Pole Noir

Audiobook
1 of 1 copy available
1 of 1 copy available
Fired from his longtime job as captain of the Coal Patrol, two-foot-three-inch 1,300-year-old elf Gumdrop Coal is angry. He's one of Santa's original elves, inspired by the fat man's vision to bring joy to children on that one special day each year. But somewhere along the way things went sour for Gumdrop. Maybe it was delivering one too many lumps of coal for the Naughty List. Maybe it's the conspiracy against Christmas that he's starting to sense down every chimney. Either way, North Pole disillusionment is nothing new: Some elves brood with a bottle of nog, trying to forget their own wish list. Some get better. Some get bitter. Gumdrop Coal wants revenge. Justice is the only thing he knows, and so he decides to give a serious wakeup call to parents who can't keep their vile offspring from landing on the Naughty List. But when one parent winds up dead, his eye shot out with a Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model BB gun, Gumdrop Coal must learn who framed him and why. Along the way he'll escape the life-sucking plants of the Mistletoe Forest, battle the infamous Tannenbomb Giant, and survive a close encounter with twelve very angry drummers and their violent friends. The horrible truth lurking behind the gingerbread doors of Kringle Town could spell the end of Christmas—and of the fat man himself. Holly Jolly!
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    • AudioFile Magazine
      This noir murder mystery stars Gumdrop Coal, who investigates a murder plot against Santa Claus. In a droll tone, Johnny Heller narrates as though Coal were a hard-boiled gumshoe of the 1930s. Pretty near every Christmas jingle, cartoon, song, and "Night Before Christmas" character makes a guest appearance in the story. Harmon's over-the-top use of Christmas symbolism and imagery contrasts effectively with Heller's intentionally flat portrayal of the jaded Coal. All that's missing from this production is holiday Muzak. Dry humor, dry wit, and a silly plot prevail, and entertain. M.B.K. (c) AudioFile 2010, Portland, Maine
    • Publisher's Weekly

      November 29, 2010
      In Harmon's first novel, an off-beat blend of whimsy and noir, 1,300-year-old elf Gumdrop Cole loses his job as one of Santa's helpers after word gets out that Cole roughed up a human, Raymond Hall. Coal and Claus already had major philosophical differences over whether naughty children should get presents on Christmas, with Coal believing that rewarding bad behavior was unfair to the good kids. When Hall's little son finds his father's bloody corpse, Coal becomes the chief murder suspect. Aided by Rosebud Jubilee, "pipsqueak reporter from The Marshmallow World Gazette," Coal tries to clear his name and identify the real culprit, whom he believes committed the crime as part of a coup against Santa himself. Harmon's mix of characters with names like Dingleberry Fizz with violence straight from a Mike Hammer story won't be to every taste.

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  • OverDrive Listen audiobook

Languages

  • English

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